A single tear
by EmeraldLily501
Summary: It hurts to love someone, tell them, and be rejected, but Remus learnt the hard way that it is much worse to love and not tell a soul.


A/n- Hey! This was just some weird idea I came up with while sitting in bed (at 11 am, I sleep in too much). Hope you like it!

Oh by the way, yes this does start out in the Marauders 5th year after their O.W.L's when they're teasing Snape, but in Remus's point of view.

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            Leave him ALONE!" Remus looked up from his book for a split second to see Lily getting up from the lake and heading over towards his best friends, James and Sirius. Remus hitched his book higher above his face so that it completely covered his head.

"All Right, Evans?" James asked. And it went on from there, the fight between Lily and James, teasing snivellus, everything. Everyone was so preoccupied, nobody noticed Remus, sitting by the tree by himself, blushing furiously behind his book from the moment Lily arrived to the moment she left…

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            Remus learned long ago that you can regret telling someone you love them and not be loved in return but it is far worse loving someone and not telling a soul. He learnt this the hard way. She left and ran off with his best friend. How could James do that to him? But James didn't know. Nobody knew. That was Remus's only problem, he trusted no one. After he got bit by a werewolf so long ago, his parents turned on him, they were afraid. He was allowed to do as he pleased and he was treated great, but he was missing one key thing: love and he knew it, despite how much his parents tried to hide it. Before school started, everything was going great. He believed his parents loved him and he trusted them. Then he met the other Marauders and found out that they alone truly loved him. He returned home for the summer and realized his parents did not love him, they feared him. They were afraid that if they treated him badly, he would bite them during the full moon. He stopped trusting them that summer, spending most of the time in his room owling his friends. They didn't know he was a werewolf yet and Remus vowed they never would, thinking they would turn on him just like his parents. He didn't realize that they not only would accept him, they would help him…

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            In his second year, Remus and his friends formed the marauders, that's what they called themselves. They all became pretty popular, bur Sirius and James more so than Remus. Peter was pretty much just a tag-along, nobody liked him much. Remus was loved more and more and trusted less and less. He was still afraid his friends would turn on him. His summer was horrible. His parents still treated him well but still loved him no more than they loved the ghoul in the attic. It was a terrible summer.

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            Remus returned to school tired and untrusting. But then he saw his friends again and all his worries were washed away in the wave of excitement and new hope that ran over him. Everything was perfect. That year, they made the Marauders Map, a map of the whole school and grounds along with the secret passages surrounding the school. But Remus came up with the best idea, moving dots for the people at Hogwarts. It was ingenious, and only they knew how to work it. Remus had an amazing year.

            That summer was the best yet. Remus was staying at the Potter the whole break. It was great. It was the summer Remus met Lily Evans. He could remember it like it happened only yesterday…

The first few weeks of summer were great. Adventures galore and planning pranks to play on their mortal enemy, Severus Snape, or Snivellus as they liked to call him. Then one night James's neighbor came over for dinner, Lily Evans. Remus had heard of her before, she was in their year, but he had never seen her. James was so excited for her to come but he didn't know why until she got there. As soon as she walked in, Remus's heart skipped a beat. She was beautiful, with shoulder-length dark red hair and a lovely smile. But her eyes…what amazing eyes…perfectly almond shaped a vibrant green color. But Remus was smart enough to hide his affection…James wasn't. He was standing there, looking like he was about to drool, a hand stuck in his hair like he was about to run it through but forgot about it half-way. Peter was doing the same thing but wasn't looking at Lily, he was looking at the roast chicken Mrs. Potter had made and he _was_ drooling. Sirius was looking between James and Lily with a look of disgust on his face. He obviously didn't like Lily. Lily stared back at James, very confused and also disgusted. She didn't like James at all. Something about him having a big head…Remus wasn't listening. James finally snapped out of his daze and started to walk towards the kitchen, inviting in Lily. She followed. Sirius had to slap Peter up-side the head to get him to follow. It was a great dinner, Remus was sure. He was once again not paying attention to it. Neither was James, as when he tried to ask to pass the butter, he said, 'please pass the Lily.' She couldn't stand it anymore at that point and excused herself from the table and headed home. James got a good smacking for that.

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            Third year was going great, until October. The secret Remus swore not to tell anyone was revealed. The other marauders knew. But to Remus's relief, they not only didn't care, they thought it was great. And even more to Remus's enjoyment, they had been training for a year now on how to become Animagi to help him through his troubles. From then on, Remus's school years were great.

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            Remus knew he was finally loved and he loved in return, but he still had no trust. Even after his friends not only supported him through his werewolf troubles, but helped him, he wouldn't trust anything. That is why he couldn't trust anyone with his deepest, darkest secret. Not a soul knew, only himself. Remus J. Lupin was in love with Lily Evans. Only one problem: so was his best friend. Before that wouldn't have mattered, but now that James's head had deflated, Lily loved him back. They were married not long after school ended. They were so happy. Now they even had a son, little Harry James Potter. Remus was happy for them but deep down he knew he could never truly forgive James. He didn't know, he knew that, but he still couldn't stand to see them so happy. 

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            Remus stood among the ashes of a burnt down house. Yesterday, two of his best friends had been killed. Remus walked through the ruins, looking at everything. Broken pictures, old knick-knacks from their school days. James and Lily stood in a picture, smiling up at Remus holding baby Harry in their arms, the boy who lived. Remus shook his head. How could they look so happy? Nothing was right. You see, Remus never told Lily how he felt, nor James. He kept it inside, bottled it up. Now Lily would never know, and he would never see her again. What if he had told her? Would things be different? Would she still be alive? Why did Sirius have to go and betray them? He killed four of his best friends; Lily, James, Peter and Remus. He didn't physically kill him but he killed him inside and he could never fully live without his friends. He shook his head and continued his walk. He walked through the old kitchen and into Lily and James's bedroom. There he found nothing that wasn't burnt except for one thing, a scarlet scarf sitting in the corner. Remus walked over to it and picked it up carefully, rubbing it against his cheek. It was the scarf he had found for Lily in their 6th year. Well at least he said he found it. He really spent weeks knitting it for her. She always wore it. As he caressed against his cheek, one single tear escaped his cold, empty eyes.

A/N- Okie dokie, I'm gonna add some reviewer comments down below to thank my reviewers, just because I have so much to say!

Nina-beena- well that's cool…..kinda…

Jimithang- thanks for reading!

XxSilverxWingsxX- awww…thanks!

Krista- Haha yes you are very stupid. Haha j/k, j/k


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